There is a villain inside of me
a villain who talks to me every single day and night
he want to go out, he want to feel the freedom in the outside,
The last time I talked to him, I tried to convince him that he should
not even think about leaving because world is not as he think it is ,
it not the same way I see it .
imagine the amount of contradiction between how i see the world and how i
feel it
that’s a thing I want to prevent the villain inside of seeing it , I
don’t want him to be disappointed of the way I live , or the way I’m
dealing with the world around me.
I have to lie just to make the people around me feel comfortable about
them selves , I have to be a good hypocrite , why you may ask !, well ,
people love hypocrites , and for a simple reason , because they know how
to talk , how to arrange words , how to fill there sentences with a
good shit.
Back to my villain , see , there is a big deference between how this
villain feel about the way I see world and the way I feel it, because I
don’t feel the things with the same way I see it.
Ok , for example : I know this society is corrupted from the ground up,
literally , but I cant treat it the same way I feel it , and here’s why ,
in simple words , you will lose it , because you won’t be able to
handle it, you will be a victim of thinking , you will draw millions of
questions in the matter of seconds, and there is that question that you
will never forget, a question that will always be on the tip of your
tongue
why am I still here !?
This question could flip your entire life upside down
I knew it , I knew this moment is coming no matter what, that villain
had a question to ask me , and I gave him the permission to ask that
question !
and without any hesitate he planted these words in my brain cells
what in the world are you still doing there ? and then he disappeared !
Long story short , I went through a mental breakdown, I was about to
burn the whole room with everything inside .. me , my soul , my thoughts
. my dreams , and everything i don’t even have , and in the midst of
all this nonsense , a bit of chills, something holding my hands ,
shaking my head violently
what are you doing ? think again !
and I've been thinking since then, and asking my self the same question
everyday.
why am i still here?
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